It's a boring Monday afternoon at work. I feel like banging my head on my desk. Going bonkers since I have nothing to do. I finished my work for today and the only think I have left on my daily agenda can't be completed until I get some info tomorrow! Oh, the agony!

Anyways, I can't remember if I mentioned anything about Weight Watchers in my last post or not. So a brief update... I am on WW! I started WW back on August 23rd, weighing in at 242.5lbs. I weighed this morning and I was ~234 lbs (my actual weigh-in day is Friday mornings but I check on Monday to see if I did any damage over the weekend!). I was a bit concerned since my birthday was a few days ago and we've had small celebrations throughout the week/weekend. Nothing extremely crazy but I have had a few too many sweets.

I was sitting here, in my boredom, and thinking about the holidays that are coming up. There are a few birthdays, then Halloween (one of my favorite holidays), Thanksgiving (not a favorite) and Christmas (HUGE favorite). I'm not really big on the food side (except for the pies on Thanksgiving and a few sweet treats on Christmas). I'm not big on cooking so it's not something I'm excited about. I'm actually wondering how I'm going to make it through the holiday's on WW! My family is big on cooking for the holidays (I gained 5lbs over Labor Day weekend! No joking!) and I know there will be a lot of fattening food hanging around. It's kinda scary because I'm not very good with portion control and controlling my urges around food... Meaning, if my mom leaves out a appetizer or dessert, my stomach will ALWAYS be full. Not a good thing.

Luckily, my husband has been super supportive (more than ever) and is actually considering to join me in my endeavors! He says he can see my body changing (I'm positive it's just water weight or bloating or SOMETHING) and that it's convinced him that spending the money is worth it. I've been on WW for 1 whole month and have lost almost 10lbs! My goal for this month was to get to 232 lbs but I didn't think about my birthday when I made the goal so I'm not crushed about it. But I am starting to see that this is going to be harder than ever in the next couple of months. I'm actually a bit scared.

I am so happy that my size 14, black, skinny jeans from Express are too loose. I've had them 2 weeks and I'm already having to pin them in. I might actually have to alter them! The teal skinny jeans? Also loose! The white capris (same brand, style & size) as the teal skinny jeans? LOOSE! It's really exciting! My size 14, granny jeans (Levi brand) are starting to fit right (they were really tight in the waste a few weeks ago and I can now sit down without feeling like I'm going to bust a seam or pop a button). I have some old jeans that are size 32 (Kinda like Miss Me but without the details and a heck of a lot cheaper). Those are the one I'm trying to squeeze back in to first. I can put them on and button them but they're still tight and don't want to stay up (or on) when I sit down. I also have some Levi jeans that are size 15 juniors (And AE size 14 skinny jeans) that are super cute with boots. I am dying to get back into those so I can start wearing boots again! I know for sure that I can wear them at 200lbs. So that is my goal for this year. Weigh-in at 200 lbs on December 27th, 2013 (last Friday in 2013)!

SO, I've got a lot of researching to do. Healthy food, some new outdoor activities for my husband and I to do with my puppies, and some awesome habits. I am finally starting to feel good about myself again and I want to make sure it keeps working. I signed up for WW 3-month plan so I have to use it through November. If I continue to see positive results, I will keep going and pay whatever I have to get rid of this weight. I am so surprised this is working but it is. It's altering my habits for the better. And I am keeping the food choices clean! :)

Please comment with any tips or questions! I'd love to hear back from you!

Thanks! -Maddy Grace <3

Sorry... I just had to start out with some Lady Gaga lyrics. I've been going through some of my older music and her album went to the top of my play list. :)

So, it has been a while. I don't really like taking a break from blogging. I felt that I needed to though. It was great motivation and very inspirational but I felt like I was becoming obsessed and not in a healthy way. I was doing great for months then I hit rock bottom and began to binge on food. Some healthy (assumed but if you look at the nutritional facts/label, it's actually the opposite) and mostly unhealthy food. I gained back the 15 lbs I had lost plus a few (not many but my fat jeans were super tight!). Fall is around the corner so, naturally, I wanted to go shopping! School supply shopping (for my home office), shoe shopping, clothes shopping, home decor shopping, etc. But the sad thing is... I refused to let myself go shopping for any type of clothes. I was ashamed of myself and in denial. I would continue to wear clothes that didn't fit right or made me uncomfortable, in hopes that they would fit in a month or so. No wonder I hit rock bottom. I hated what I saw in the mirror and it overwhelmed me.

Grant urged me to find some jeans that fit and were comfortable (since I couldn't wear my jeans to work anymore and I was too embarrassed to show up in business clothes on Fridays). I found some pants that were my size (not the next size up) and made me feel good. I wasn't happy about it but the fact that I was able to fit into them made it ok. At least I have some cute pants for fall. Black skinny leggings from Express and some dark teal blue skinny jeans. I thought they were going to make me look horrible since I can't fit into my knee-high boots. But they look pretty good with my Toms so I kept them. They look even better with heels.

My focus is on being healthy and small goals. I was hoping for too much too fast. I decided that my long term goal was to get to 150lbs with no deadline. My short terms goals are a few lbs here and there. For instance, I want to be 233 by my birthday (September 19th = 7 days). I weighed in at 235.8 this morning. I have set a weekly date (every Friday morning) for my official weigh-in. Another goal I have is to be 200lbs by December 27th (last Friday in December) which is approximately 2lbs/week. I know it's a big goal but I need something to hold on to through the holidays. Plus, that will make me fit into some of my old clothes again, which is the ultimate Christmas gift to myself. I'll probably even buy myself a new pair of boots. ;) For the small goals, I usually will reward myself with something small, like some new makeup or cute jewelry from a local boutique store. My mid-size goals (mid-term weight or pants size goals) will be articles of clothing (like a top or jeans). My ultimate goal is a whole new wardrobe. New clothes that fit me and are not cheap. I would love to buy a gorgeous pair of Miss Me jeans.

This is a lot to think about and hope for. My husband has been helping me so much the past couple of weeks. In the last 3 weeks, I have lost 6.7 lbs. It's not a lot but it's a starting point. I can't wait to turn that into a 10lb loss or a 25lb loss.