Every once in a while, I think it's good to take a break or a hiatus in my case. This has been crucial for my will power. It left me shortly after my vacation and came back for about a week and left again. It really sucked. I know a good portion of my hiatus was due to depression. Just kicked me while I was down. No energy, no will, nothing. But I'm back. I've been eating pretty clean and staying active even though I haven't been to the gym but once a week. I haven't gained any more weight. Still stuck at 240 lbs.

I had a nice little heart to heart with my hubby tonight. I was depressed because I volunteered last week at a local camp for medical needs children. I had a great time but with all volunteer projects, there has to be proof and that means pictures! OMG! I have hit my low point! Mind you, the t-shirts ran small... Really small. I normally can wear a medium comfortably, and a large will be a little loose. I had to get a large and it was really tight. Not happy with it at all. The pic looks like it was stretched!

Anyways, after my little H2H with my hubby, he decided to give me an incentive (Sounds dangerous!). We went walking around the mall and I saw all of these super chic clothes that I would LOVE to have but I don't want to spend the money on clothes that I'm not happy with or hoping I won't fit in anymore. He agreed (we're both hoping that I'll lose a ton of weight). So, I'm not buying clothes (unless absolutely needed or work out clothes) until I lose weight. The incentive... If I lose 90-100 lbs by next year (no specific date in 2014), he will give me a dollar amount for an entire new wardrobe. Anything and everything I want/need. Plus, his side of the closet! ;) But I have to be 150lbs or less next year.

In order for me to help reach this goal, he has decided to help me (HALLELUJAH!!!). I have a major problem with energy. I'm not one to wake up easily or keep energy for long periods of time. It could be a number of factors: hormonal imbalance (not proven 100%), vitamin deficiency (proven but supplements don't help), depression (hereditary but not willing to take drugs), or any number of other things. So, in order to help me with my energy problem (no, he's not hooking me up with a caffeine drip), he's going to start waking me up super early (like, 5:30 AM), forcing me to wake up and work out and be at work on time. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I'm not complaining. I'd love to be able to wake up and not want to stay in bed 24/7. I'd love to want to do things like go to work, work out, hang out with friends, etc.

So, I'm back. I have incentive to workout. I have motivation and will-power. I'm going to do this. And keep it off. I'm going to be healthy and fit and happy again. I have decided to try the 1000 challenge. Burn 1000 calories a day (without killing myself or starving). Since I am going to lose 100 lbs in a year, I'm going to have to increase my calorie burn (since it's stubborn fat). 100 lbs/ year = ~8.34 lbs/month = ~2 lbs/week. Healthy weight loss goal. So, 3,500 calories = 1 lb. That means, 7,000 calorie deficit /week. I don't eat much as it is. I can continue to keep my current food intake (possibly increase a little to keep energy) and burn 5,000 calories a week and meet my goal. It sounds drastic but I think it will work out nicely. Who knows, I might get hungry! So, good night for now. Looks like I have an early morning! :D